Dear Dance Diva,
I had a crush on a female coworker for around two years, but when it comes to women I’m shy and lack confidence. I tried, but couldn’t get the nerve to ask her out so I started taking dance lessons in order to impress her at our company holiday party. It worked. We danced a few times at the party, one thing led to another, I asked her out and we’ve been dating for the last six weeks. We both really enjoy dancing and she started taking lessons at the same studio as me. As it turns out, I don’t like her as much as I thought I did. In fact, the more I get to know her, the less I like her. Dancing is really the only thing we have in common and she’s not as good at it as I am.
I don’t want to see her anymore and I’m going to tell her. I know it will be awkward for a while since we work together and see each other a few nights a week at the studio, but my question is how long should I wait before asking another girl out? It’s not just any girl, it’s the dance instructor who teaches one of the group classes my soon-to-be-ex-girlfriend and I both take weekly. My-soon-to-be-ex is already a little jealous of her because it’s obvious she has a thing for me. She flirts with me in class and around the studio and I am attracted to her too. Even though I don’t like my soon-to-be-ex, I don’t want to hurt her. What’s your advice?
Dear Dancing Dan,
Whooooaaa…hang on there cowboy. Soon-to-be-ex-girlfriend’s feelings notwithstanding, do not…I repeat…DO NOT under any circumstances ask out your dance instructor. She will not…I repeat…WILL NOT accept an invitation to go on a date with you. I don’t care if you’re Prince Charming, she’s not going to go out with you.
NEWSFLASH: She is not flirting with you. Teaching you how to dance is her job. Spreading joy is part of that job. Being nice to her students is part of that job. She is just doing her job and doing it well. After all, would you continue taking lessons or classes from someone who wasn’t nice to you?
Pay attention, Valentino. I’d wager my last nickel she’s not treating you any differently than she’s treating any of her other male students.
Reality check: it’s not you she likes. It’s her job.
You say the more you get to know your soon-to-be-ex-girlfriend, the less you like her. My guess is the feeling is mutual. One more thing. About this… Dancing is really the only thing we have in common and she’s not as good at it as I am…really?
You asked for my advice? Here it is.
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